Ladies and Gentleman of the Guangzhou Hash,

A few days ago I had to sit through some liberal clusterfarce called “The Oscars”. I say ‘I had to’, because just prior to that show, I had caused - and lost - a domestic dispute and, subsequently, had to sooth my room and bed mate, in order not to jeopardize further mating.

Unfortunately, it didn’t precisely work out as planned. Probably, it was that weird Billy Crystal guy who ruined my night. Honestly, wouldn’t you get desperately cynical if you had to look at that ass with ears and a 1980’s killer perm, and listen to the crap coming out of his mouth, all night long, while the remote control is in an unreachably remote place (aka ‘the mate’s lap’)?

Well, I for one couldn’t keep my mouth shut, and at one point I blurted out that, if the Guangzhou Hash would hold a ceremony like this, it would have much more style, much more class, and people wouldn’t puke because they were disgusted by all that French and Iranian winner’s talk, but simply because they had enjoyed really large quantities of juicy Tiger beer. Or got hugged by Hunkaspunk.

So, in order to show you that I am not all empty promises, the mismanagement gives to you, for the first time:

The Inaugural First Annual Harries Awards Ceremony

When: Saturday, March 3rd, 2012, at 1.30 PM

Where: Gold Mango Bar

Nominees: Qin-ger Rogers and Floppy Astaire for their stunning performance in ‘Swinger Time’

Since France and Iran were the principal winners of that lame Oscar show, we are still waiting for the members of our French-Iranian Hash community to submit their works, so that they, too, can proudly stand up, when we sing their national hash anthem.

And now: The Treat of the Day!

Hashers, this is a first time event. Studies on the Internet suggest, that 83.7% of all first time events are never going to be repeated, and are therefore last time events at the very same time. However, in their endless generosity towards themselves, the mismanagers have decided to keep the run fee at a mere 50 RMB, instead of charging ourselves 100 RMB for the two events which we are getting.

On On,

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-- www.gzh3.net

From the hashvertisement emailed by the mismanagement on 2012-03-01.