Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,

People often claim that we hashers are just a bunch of ignorant drunkards who don’t care for anything but running and making filthy jokes. In order to prove that this is not entirely true and that we are also a circle of educated individuals, the mismanagement wants to point out that without us the 200th or so ‘Australia Day’ would probably have gone completely unnoticed everywhere in the civilized world. Even in Australia, where everyone is happy to have a day off, people seem to have forgotten the historical importance of the events that lead to ‘Australia Day’. This really is a great pity because the lesson we can learn is extremely valuable; especially for hash mismanagers, but also for ordinary mortals.

Back then, there lived a British navy captain with the name of William Bligh. He was quite a zealot in his crusade against alcohol. On his ship, the Bounty, he would allow rum only when used as an anesthetic. It was only just and fair, he thought, to grant a patient a few sips of rum prior to having his arm or leg amputated. However, he had forgotten to specify and write down the exact conditions that may constitute the usage of rum. The crew members had a more ample view on this point and demanded rum not only when they got some part of their body cut off, but also for less serious conditions such as light head ache, morning nausea, or ADHS. The chef claimed that his cooking skills as well as his burning sensation while peeing were less troubling after a bottle of rum, or two.

When Captain Bligh was unwilling to compromise, conflict was inevitable. The desperate patients started a mutiny and put their captain and some other crew members who claimed to be healthy into the ship boat and left them to their fate. Captain Bligh steered the tiny boat over 3,500 nautical miles West to Australia, where he was made the Governor of a province obscurely called 'New South Wales'. But again, zeal against rum became his private road to perdition. When he reduced the rations for army soldiers and officers, the New South Wales Regiment started the so-called ‘Rum Rebellion’, which overthrew the government on January 26, probably exactly 200 years ago. William Bligh had to flee; his life being a heap of shards.

The mismanagement of the Guangzhou Hash thrives to be smarter than William Bligh was 200 years ago and has hopefully learned the obvious lesson from history: that cold beer always has to be available in abundance on any given Hash Day, otherwise things will go completely down under the drain.

So, hashers from Australia and all around the world, come out and celebrate ‘Rum Rebellion Day’ with the Guangzhou Hash. And no worries, mate, we weren’t so stupid as to ask any Aussies to be the hares.

Where: Gold Mango Bar

When: Saturday, January 26, 2013 @ 1.30 PM

What: The Aussie Day Hash

What else: More than enough cold beer

What else else: Breath-taking views over Guangzhou’s Outback

Who: Circle Jerk and Double-0

Australia on the other hand had her first public holiday. Originally called the ‘Rum Rebellion Day’, it has been renamed to ‘Australia Day’ in recent centuries.

Times are changing, and the poison of choice isn’t rum anymore.

On On,

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-- www.gzh3.net

From the hashvertisement emailed by the mismanagement on 2013-01-24.