Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash...

As we enter the second week of the Rio Olympics, the Guangzhou Hash gives you a Saturday trail that's as awesome as an artificially-enhanced Chinese swimmer. While 1.6 billion people wait with baited breath to see how many medals China will win in the Games, the GZH3 celebrates the upcumming track and field events that feature in the second week...

Besides the Jamaicans, Americans, and more Chinese laboratory specimens, one of the real powers in track and field is Trinidad & Tobago. To celebrate their impending Caribbean dominance, the GZH3 gives you a Trinidadian (or is he a Toboggan?) hare to sprint away from the Hashers.

However, based on our knowledge of Tap Dat Ass' running ability and with corroboration from his wife, we all know that TDA is more of a sprinter and can't do much for more than 15 seconds. Fortunately, we've paired him with the GZH3's resident tortoise, Turtlehead, to finish up after TDA is spent and out of breath.

Bring yourself, bring your kuai, and bring a virgin for the best running event you'll find this week!

And no, I'm not talking about that vaginal fluid of a beverage that Shoeless and Scratch n' Sniff drink post-Hash. Which is kind of an oxymoron altogether. 25 in diving, 23 in ping pong, 17 in archery, 16 in badminton, and 1 in chemistry. Are we still talking about Hash? And if you have a young child, bring them too, or the next time you see them might be on TV as they compete on China's 2028 silver medal gymnastics team.

What: GZH3 Run #1393: The Tortoise & the Hare Hash When: Saturday August 13th - 1:00PM Sharp! Where: Mango Bar - Taojin Metro Exit B Hares: Turtlehead, Tap-Dat-Ass & Mystery Hare! How Much? 50rmb for GZ hashers and visitors. 120rmb for newcummers includes GZH3 welcum package! What to Bring? Trail shoes, swimmies, change of clothes, 50-70rmb for dinner.

On On! -Three Inches of Pain

From the hashvertisement emailed by the mismanagement on 2016-08-12.