Ladies and "Gentlemen" of the Guangzhou Hash,
As you know...
...two beacons of diplomacy and likability are competing to become the next President of the United States. And not only do Americans surpass the rest of the world in our choices of elected officials, but we also have the "coolest and most badass (James Madison's words, not mine)" method of choosing our Executive via the Electoral College (U.S. Const. Article I. Sec. II).
The Electoral College protects Americans from having to hear about trivial national issues like international affairs or fiscal policy and allows us to focus on important matters like candidates attending ice cream socials and talking about each other's marriage infidelities. This bedrock of democracy in the United States allows candidates to win individual states like a real game of Risk by pandering to voters who think that Kamchatka is a real country named after a $7 bottle of vodka.
Luckily for the Guangzhou Hash, tomorrow you will have a chance to persuade two voting citizens of "swing states" of who they should vote for in the upcumming election. Bald Dick, a proud Pennsylvanian, and Three Inches of Pain, hailing from The Greatest State, are two Midwestern boys who will have a tremendous say in who will become the next leader of the free world. Best be careful and say nice things about the trail, or these hares might take it upon themselves to seek retribution upon you by voting for the wrong candidate.
Cum tomorrow for what could be the most important Guangzhou Hash in history!
To our Chinese friends: NO, the Electoral College is not accepting bribes for Fall 2017 semester acceptance.
And who will become the next Township Clerk of Greenwood Township in Oceana County, Michigan. As for this GM, I'm all in for Mary Sue DeKuiper. Her 87 years of experience will be useful and ironic when managing the township cemetery.
Wrong candidate = any candidate.
What: GZH3 Run #1403: The Swing State Hash When: Saturday, October 22nd- 1:00PM Sharp! Where: Mango Bar - Taojin Metro Exit B Hares: Bald Dick & Three Inches of Pain
On On! -Three Inches of Pain
PS. Don't forget Papasan's Helloween Hash on Monday, October 31!
PPS. Continue to save the date for the Xmas Party & Annual Awards - December 10!
From the hashvertisement emailed by the mismanagement on 2016-10-21.