Fellow hashers, scholars, and professional procrastinators,
Summer freedom is slipping through our fingers like cheap beer at an On-Inn. The calendar is glaring at us: school season is upon us.
Some of you are parents, silently weeping over uniform shopping.
Some of you are students, mourning the loss of 3pm lie-ins.
And some of you just miss the smell of chalk dust and existential dread.
Enough moping! This week, we trade textbooks for trail marks and detention for downhill delirium.
THEME: BACK TO SCHOOL 🎒✏️
Dust off your old backpack, dig out that embarrassing lunchbox, and wear your most tragic school uniform throwback. Think: crooked ties, too-short shorts, and that one teacher who definitely had a favorite student.
THE TRAIL: A CRASH COURSE IN SUFFERING 🏃♂️
Our 2 Headmasters of Mischief:
- 🤓 Shotgun Romeo
- 🤓 Hunkaspunk
They've prepared a curriculum featuring:
- 📝 Pop quiz: Which way is the trail? (Spoiler: you'll fail)
- 🚌 Bus stop sprint: Because you're late for class
- 🌿 Overgrown campus jungle: Nature's way of saying "summer's over"
- 💦 Mandatory splash zone: Consider it your cold shower before term starts
- 🍺 Final exam: Beer stop at the finish line (passing grade: 6 cans)
Don't be late—there WILL be detention.
ON ON! 🍻💦
TUITION FEES
🎓 ADULTS: Bus + Dinner: 130 RMB | No Bus/No Dinner: 90 RMB
🧒 KIDS:
Under 3: FREE (they don't have homework yet)
3–9 years: 30 RMB (still innocent)
10–16 years: 90 RMB (already traumatized by algebra)
WHAT'S IN YOUR PENCIL CASE:
- Water bottle (hydration is NOT optional) 💧
- Change of clothes (you WILL get messy) 👕
- Towel (for tears or sweat)
- Your questionable life choices 😉
- Sharp eyes for chalk marks on trees 👀
- Shoes for muddy playgrounds and mild regret 🌿💦
- Mosquito repellent (or bring a friend they like more)
Hashing is dangerous. The organizers of the Guangzhou Hash accept no responsibility for any accidents, injuries or mishaps — whether caused by their stupidity (likely) or your own (more likely).